Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Posted by sean On August - 26 - 2011

Poor Bumblebee is at a loss as to how a beloved franchise came to this.

The walking, talking junkyards, the Transformers, grace us with their return in the threequal, Transformers: Dark of the Moon.  While many have been waiting with anticipation for their next battle, all of the explosions and crashing metal fail to sugar-coat this desecrated property.

 

Michael Bay’s latest orgasm of destruction follows the Autobots’ struggle to save Earth yet again from the Decepticons, pulling in Sam Witwicky (Shia Lebeouf) and his Victoria-Secret-model girlfriend, Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) as their new fight stems from a cover-up involving the moon landing and the plan to revive the dead planet of Cybertron.

 

The plot lacks the abundant number of gaping holes that littered the previous entry, but it’s nowhere near perfect.  It’s still farfetched, even for a movie with giant robots, with the motives behind the choices of both hero and villain inconsistent and illogical, such as the Decepticons wiping humanity out despite their plan to enslave them and the Autobots allowing thousands to perish to prove a point.  However, before the film even gets to the story, Bay opens with thirty minutes of plot-irrelevant, brain-numbing humor that desperately forces you to laugh with silly gags involving cameos from John Malkovich and Ken Jeong.  On top of that, the director treats the first act like the spawn of a car and lingerie commercial, throwing in sweeping images of hot rods and zooming so closely on Huntington-Whiteley’s ass, you’re afraid the director might perform a colonoscopy.  While these are trademarks of his, it leaves little time to make Sam and Carly’s relationship seem genuine outside of him being jealous of her boss (Patrick Dempsey).

 

Of course, Bay is renowned for his expert hand at special effects, and Dark of the Moon is no different.  The CGI hits an all-time high in detail.  The robots bear a realistic gleam in their parts as well as the dents and scratches they suffer in combat, all of which blends extremely well with the on-location shots and live detonations.  At times, it is a bit difficult to take in all the work that went into the animation with the action moving at a swift pace and so much cluttered into a single frame, especially during the climactic battle, but when things slow down long enough, you can fully absorb the visuals.

 

But just like the leading lady, unfortunately, the Transformers are portrayed as just something pretty to look at.  Little depth is given to support the amazing graphics, a crime against those who put in the countless hours creating them.  Optimus Prime is at least given an arc throughout the story involving his mentor, but his companions rely on what the audience knows from the previous films to get any sympathy from them.  Even Bumblebee, whose friendship with Sam played a huge role in first film, has little to do, and when the Autobots are an inch away from death, their lack of background snuffs out any sense of dread for their demise.  Any new characters introduced are left as caricatures that depend on the viewer’s familiarity with stereotypes, such as a vulgar Irish robot.  Unlike the controversial Mudflaps and Skids from Revenge of the Fallen, they’re not on screen long enough to be as annoying.

 

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is like going to the dentist to get your tooth pulled only to have the Novocain wear off.  For all of its flare and no substance, Dark of the Moon is a bitter, flat beer that fails to numb the pain of what you have just witnessed.

-Sean

Leave a Reply

TAG CLOUD

morris review

WP Cumulus Flash tag cloud by Roy Tanck requires Flash Player 9 or better.

Sponsors

About Me

Thoughts on Cinema is dedicated to film reviews. An uncompromising opinion on the intellectual, artistic, and entertainment value to the consumer. With rising ticket prices, we dedicate ourselves to present to you content regarding what you should or should not be viewing. -Ronald H. Pollock Founder and Editor in Chief

Twitter

    Photos

    Hull 12.09.2017-55.jpg20151006-17502102058DSC_7019.jpg1804 Denim Shop / Shark Bite PodIMG_5388