Archive for the ‘Featured’ Category

Machete

Posted by ron On September - 8 - 2010

Betrayed and left for dead Danny Trejo is Machete, a man without a country hell bent on retribution against the men who had wronged him. If this trope sounds familiar, it’s because this film contains all of the basic food groups in delicous exploitation films: Mindless bloody violence, gratuitous nudity, campy performances, and an overly simplified sociopolitical message. There were no surprises in Machete but it was enjoyable for that very reason. As a Grind house trailer, it was billed as a ridiculous tale of bloody revenge built around an emotionless unstoppable Mexican killing machine that was one part Hammurabi and two parts Jason Vorhees. It delivered on that promise.

At age 66, Trejo was a marvel to watch. His scarred leathery face and imposing frame were perfect for a moody silent type haunted by his past. However it was his flat affect and minimal responses that provided so much of the film’s comedic timing. Whether it’s playing off of Jessica Alba or any of his co-stars, Trejo’s less is more approach was the perfect foil.

On one level, Machete was a revenge film but it was also part of a larger amusingly convoluted arc that ultimately ignited a revolution led by illegal immigrants living in Texas. At no point did the audience learn much about the network run by Michelle Rodriguez to which she cryptically replied to an immigration officer, “They pay their part.” Are they encouraging more illegal immigration or possibly working towards their citizenship? No more information was yielded. How was paying the network more advantageous than applying for a work visa? At no point did the audience ever learn about Machete’s political views on illegal immigration. In fact, we did not get any indication on what the illegal immigrants hoped to gain out of risking their lives to enter in a stand off between Machete and a rogue Border Patrol death squad. Fortunately the film didn’t spend too time on the socio-political commentary. The story never made it personal, mean spirited, or over serious. It provided just enough anti-Mexican juice for the audience to get behind the main protagonist, his allies, and to cheer the end of the overly theatrical villains played by DeNiro, Seagal, Fahey, and Don Johnson.

Director Robert Rodriguez hasn’t deviated too much from his body of work that included El Mariachi, Desperado, and Once upon a Time in Mexico. He’s still stuck on revenge but I think he’s learned how to get more out of his actors. He hasn’t lost his sense of culture. Little details in this film really added some reverence for pride and the importance of cultural identity. Rodriguez continued to suffer from choppy editing that absolutely killed the climax of Machete. When all the plotlines converged to the Border Patrol Death Squad camp, the chaos was edited down to posing, firing munitions, and next person. Shockingly Rodriguez didn’t recruit more Mexican Americans to work as extras. What was supposed to be a living tsunami of illegal immigrants resembled more of a minor league baseball team in number. It was unclear on whether or not this mega battle scene was chopped up badly on purpose but I thought Trejo deserved more of a coupe de grace and so did the audience.

Still, this film brought laughs, the action, and hot women. In my never ending tribute to George Thorogood’s One Bourbon, One Shot, One Beer I am rating Machete a nice cold beer that warrants another one because it’s a tasty guilty pleasure.

Cheers
Ron

Piranha 3-D

Posted by ron On August - 22 - 2010


Ving Rhames might have to go medieval on some fish in the campy gore film, Piranha 3-D

Dressed as the exact same character where he fought an iconic cannibalistic sea creature, Richard Dreyfus’ career has come full circle in Piranha 3-D, a shamelessly entertaining and gory film with a lot of fun performances from the stars to the extras. French horror director Alexandre Aja didn’t exert too much of his signature fatalist film making to the Joe Dante’s 1978 recipe about the nature channel gone bad. Aja merely enriched the camp flavor of the Piranha franchise. This was refreshingly uncharacteristic of today’s directors who often tried too hard to rewrite/reboot the rules of any film less than 5 years old.

Set in Arizona along the Colorado River, unsupervised college kids have invaded a small town to party on boats and other floating devices for a Spring Break of debauchery. Unfortunately, this unlucky town was about to face something more excruciatingly painful than miles of trash and puke on the boardwalk. Unknownst to the hundreds of hard young bodies baking in the Sun, a tremor has opened up a deep underwater canyon that released thousands of hungry mouths. Between the hard drinking college kids and the impending doom that awaits them, there was a young man whose coming of age story could involve a lovely young lady if he could escape sleazy pornographer, underwater lesbian nymphs, and a serious grounding if his sheriff mom, played by Elizabeth Shue doesn’t find out he abandoned his younger siblings.

It’s impossible not to become jealous of the extras and actors who brought their best ham for the occasion along with tiny bathing suits. Jerry O’Connell delivered a riotous performance as a small time pornographer who fed off filming the activities of curious college girls who lost their inhibitions along with their virginity. Christopher Lloyd reprised his role as a crazed scientist. Eli Roth got into the fun as an MTV-esque host, while Ving Rhames might be more lethal to aquatic life than British Petroleum.

The 3-D wasn’t necessary and outside of a floating half eaten penis, it didn’t serve the film.

Piranha 3-D was one of the few films this summer that actually delivered on its promise of sex, drugs, and sushi. For that, I am giving Piranha 3-D a delicious bourbon.

Cheers
Ron

Scott Pilgrim Vs the World

Posted by ron On August - 16 - 2010


More than just an exercise in T-shirt culture, Scott Pilgrim might be in over his head if he can’t find a way to defeat all of Ramona’s evil Ex-lovers.

Whether or not you are a gamer, every one can relate to love as a game. Scott Pilgrim vs the world was the 7th level of a no holds barred fight to the finish for the girl you love. Director Edgar Wright took the best elements of Bryan Lee O’Malley’s 6 book series by emphasizing the video game spoofs and clever visual language. For all intents and purposes, the adaptation worked on the cinematic stage.

In a similar set up to Shaun of the Dead, the main protagonist was a slacker, content to simply exist in his small fish bowl world until a crisis threatened to take away the one thing he desperately loved more than garlic bread. Not much of a stretch for Michael Cera to play a self absorbed amoral puppy who often took the path of least resistance when it came to his prior relationships. Cera’s comedic limitations were identified in the scene where his character was so desperate to get dumped, he resorted to racial insults. Without the right comedic timing, the delivery felt awkward. Pilgrim’s love interest played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead captured Ramona Flowers’ reserved, mysterious beauty with poker faced emotionally withdrawn expressions. Is she concealing her emotions for Scott or is she emotionally immune to his charms? The ambiguous nature of her character was necessary to convince us that a reckless young man’s pursuit to capture what was deemed unattainable seemed logical and convincing between two young people.

The more enjoyable super hero movies are attributed to great acting performances by the villains. Have no fear, the performances delivered by each evil ex exhibited their best characteristics and most fun in the film. Balancing the theatrical dialogue with the physical demands, each fight scene was brilliantly choreographed and executed. Even if the viewers didn’t catch all the homages to specific old school video games, they certainly enjoyed the vibrant colors, stunts, and camerawork.

In my never ending homage to George Thorogood’s One bourbon, one scotch, one beer I am giving Scott Pilgrim vs. the World a rating of a great tasting bourbon that provided good times, action, adventure, and a righteous score for the good guys.

Cheers,
Ron

The Expendables

Posted by ron On August - 11 - 2010


Sly hangs onto dear life in the Expendables, a throwback to beefcake 80s gun porn the perfect film for D-Box theatres.

The Expendables attempted to revive 80s Republican cinema with the very man who helped institute the Reagan era of musclebound gun porn and American invincibility. From a lost era Sylvester Stallone returned as the last American action hero to deliver one big box office bang for Hollywood. Unfortunately he didn’t bring Governor Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers along for the ride. Instead, he brought in the tweener action heroes like Terry Crews, Jet Li, and Jason Statham with Bruce Willis in the background. Like tax breaks to the American middle class, the Expendables squandered its opportunities to deliver its nostalgic brand of pornography. It was a makeshift film with pieces of an action film that didn’t satisfy the blood lust of many prior one liner money shots. In having failed to do so, there was no sense of nostalgia but more of a reminder of why Sylvester Stallone’s legacy was one that deserved to stay in the past.

The 80s action film formula emphasized slightly homoerotic testosterone injected action that was reminiscent of choreography in American professional wrestling entertainment. That is to say, the protagonist and antagonist traded one sided blows in a sea saw battle. The traditionally topless oiled up muscle bound men rolled around in grimy surfaces with other muscle bound men as explosions go off in the distance. The climax of the physical bravado was always highlighted by a catch phrase or one liner and a spectacular death as the coupe de grace. It was an excessive form of entertainment.

American audiences will still enjoy this form of ridiculous contest of manly men trying to one up each other in feats of implausible skill and survival. They will enjoy the one-thall showdowns: Jet Li vs. Dolph Lundgren and Sly vs. Steve Austin. However one wonders if the use of muscle men as real life super heroic stuntmen is still relevant today? Sophisticated digital cameras, the blue screen, and Hong Kong high wire choreographed fights have changed action films in cinema. The audience has already accepted that an anorexic woman can jump from a speeding car, slide down a rooftop, and grab onto the side of a truck without one scratch. What was once an exclusive club to the physically endowed has become available to anyone. While modern times won’t diminish the feat of the Expendables, it has already made it appear dated.

The physical feats and complexity of the Expendables are worth appreciating as a dying repetitive art form of extreme violence. True to form, It also suffered from a lot of same flaws as its predecessors. Bad acting, empty dialogue, and an implausible plot never failed to take the viewer out of the movie. Worse, it may have crippled the overall enjoyment of the film, something that Rambo, Commando, or Action Jackson never did.

In my die hard appreciation of George Thorogood’s one Bourbon, one Scotch, one Beer I rated the Expendables an old stand by beer that didn’t disappoint but never quenched by thirst. 

Cheers,
Ron    

I Am Love

Posted by ron On August - 8 - 2010


Milano and Swinton are captivating onscreen in I Am Love.

Tilda Swinton is precious, beautiful and embodied feminine sensuality lost in the cosmopolitan energy of Italia in Luca Guadagnino’s I Am Love. She delivered a performance worthy of an Oscar nomination as an Italian speaking Russian mother to a wealthy Milano family of textile producers that must change with the times. Since her performance in 1992′s Orlando, Swinton has always downplayed her commitment to refining her craft. Irregardless, it’s impossible to ignore her command of the big screen. Like a painter always expanding her palette from a campy theatrical depiction of the angel Gabriel in Constantine to her Oscar award winning performance in Michael Clayton, she has continued her trend of hitting the hightest marks in acting excellence.

Director Luca Guadagnino’s visual language captured the best ingredients of all things Italiano: Excessive wealth, rich tasting foods, self indulgent parties, sophisticated fashion, breathless architecture, and timeless landscape. We are seduced by this lush environment as his visual language was so powerful that the sex felt only natural as next logical dish served in a ridiculous multi-course meal.

Food is communication in Italian culture. Guadagnino emphasized this cultural aspect very well. When Italian families congregate, they dress for dinner in order to show appreciation and respect for this art form. Food has vital significance because it dictated the mood of the conversation as well as it’s direction. A chef might not have the most wealth but he wielded the most power in the film. Is it possible to be seduced by one bite from a culinary masterpiece? Guadagnino seemed to think so. One bite served as an afrodisiac to Swinton’s character Emma Recchi. It reminded her of a time when she had choices as a single woman before she abandoned her identity and became Italiano. Her marriage had provided many wonderful things such as security, stability, a good family, and wonderful children. It did not provide anything that she wanted for herself. Food liberated her temporarily and she wanted more.

This was a film about making a difficult choice between family vs self. It’s an exploration into taking back control of one’s life by accepting change and losing yourself in it. It’s about rediscovering passion, love, and freedom. Guadagnino is talking about what it feels like to be alive vs what it feels like to just live. We are race of creatures who were never meant to be kept, so set yourself free to love.

In my homage to Thorogood’s One Bourbon, One Scotch, and one Beer I rated I am Love a delicious tasting bourbon.

Cheers
Ron

Scott Pilgrim the Fan-ga

Posted by ron On August - 8 - 2010


With its 6th book, the fanatical series Scott Pilgrim has concluded a whimsical love story blended together by creator Bryan Lee O’Malley’s Manga influences and nostalgia for 8 bit video games. The story began in Canada where Scott Pilgrim, a fun loving mid 20s Garageband musician is infatuated with the new girl from New York, Ramona Flowers.

Love is as much a mental game as it is an emotional one. In order to win Ramona’s heart, Scott must metaphorically engage Ramona’s previous 7 relationship mental road blocks in the form of single player 8 bit arcade style bosses. With victories over each successive ex-lover, Scott traveled deeper into Ramona’s emotional subconscious and uncovered her personal fears about commitment. At the same time, Scott inadvertently examined his own mistakes in prior relationships. The women in Scott’s life appeared like the ghosts from Christmas past wearing chain wallets and hoodies to forewarn him about repeating his mistakes. Did Scott learn from them in order to gain greater understanding of the present as he battled to save his relationship with Ramona before her insecurities destroyed their chance at true love? You’ll just have to find out for yourself.

Alas fear not, the great Canadian tragedy hasn’t been written yet because there was no mention of the Toronto Maple Leafs in this series.

This story was not so much a coming of age lesson as it was a romantic tell tale regarding the maturation of the male ego. As it turned out, Scott was guilty of a few dick moves. It was as much a story about the quest for love as it was about young men having dealt with the damaged goods created by other men who never stop stroking their ego.

The clever use of old school 8 bit video games definitely added kich humor to the subject matter. However the liberal use of seizure inducing over dramatic Manga style interrupted the flow of the story at times. Still a minor quibble to an otherwise fun creative formula to a complex story.

At a rate of one book per year, Bryan Lee O’Malley must be one of the deepest contemplative thinkers in the comic book industry or has a killer return from his publisher. Whichever the case, Scott Pilgrim is worth checking out as a fun alternative read to over serious mainstream comic books.

A few brief words regarding all 6 books:
Book 1: Sets the tone of the kich whimsical world of Scott Pilgrim.
Book 2: The humor and fun is amped up with winks to the reader.
Book 3: The ADD style can get a little tedious or seizure inducing if you aren’t a fan of this style.
Book 4: The transition point where not all is well in Scott and Ramona’s world as much like people fall in love, they can easily fall out of love just as quick.
Book 5: Arguably the best book in the series as Ramona’s life leading into her arrival into Scott’s life is explored.
Book 6: Little distracting with the Inception-esque components but the bittersweet ex-girlfriend from Scott is really the defining moment prior to the final act.

Zombies invade your TV

Posted by ron On August - 5 - 2010

AMC is the latest to venture into the popularity of comic book adaptations with the Walking Dead. This post apocalyptic world created by writer Robert Kirkman chronicled a Georgia policeman awoken from a coma, only to face a world populated by moving corpses hungry for living flesh. The title itself was a reference to the uncertain future of the remaining survivors who may lose their sanity before their number is up. One wonders about the TV ratings for such a bleak existence. It’s a safe bet that the first couple seasons will be atop the ratings chart. However, the zombie craze hasn’t been known to have a long life span. How will television succeed where cinema has failed in sustaining a serious zombie horror story?


Garfield may not look like Rick Grimes but if he can channel him, the Walking Dead will do justice to its fans.

Zombies pose a unique challenge. They don’t exhibit much personality. Watching only lifeless corpses roam around aimlessly would test even the most enthusiastic nature channel lover. Therefore, the story doesn’t sell without compelling characters. All eyes will be on Love Actually’s Andrew Lincoln to deliver the goods as Rick Grimes. Lincoln is the only actor cast that has very little resemblance to his comic book character. One can only assume his tryout was so impressive that comic book creator Robert Kirkman and director Frank Darabont were willing to disregard the aesthetic differences. Hopefully, Lincoln learned not to use the same cliche’ Southern twang that most U.K. actors use like a crutch in their dialogue. Modern American audiences are well traveled enough to realize these characters are in the South without reminding them in every single sentence of dialogue. Otherwise such a grievous error ceases to become pertinent to the character and more of a characteristic to a dated stereotype.


Survival of the Dead’s box office returns were more frightening than the actual movie. Not even Romero’s die hard fans came out to embrace this chapter of his never ending zombie saga.

Zombies are not an easy subject to keep the audience’s interest. Just ask the legendary George Romero. Twenty years after Day of the Dead (1985), Romero tried a comeback with diminishing returns. Different directors have tried to switch the formula up with some success. Zombie satires seem to be en vogue. However, no one has touched the idea of a TV series till now.


With Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim’s director Edgar Wright had greater success breaking the box office ice with a hysterical satire on the zombies.


Ruben Fleischer followed with Zombieland. Will zombies ever be taken seriously again?

Frank Darabont was challenged with adapting this monthly title into a weekly TV series. Darabont has the resume to make even the most hardened zombie cynic hopeful. He directed several adaptations of Stephen King’s works such as the Woman in the Room, the Shawshank Redemption, the Green Mile, and the Mist. If there’s one thing Darabont can capture, it’s desperation. It will be a recurring theme on a show where the elevator of emotions only leads to the basement. If the TV series is loyal to its source material, there will be no stylized acts of zombie killing. It’s really a drama about human beings clinging to what shreds of humanity that they have left. Survival and morality will be the two muses tormenting them at every step. With both Kirkman and Darabont overseeing the project, I recommend the Walking Dead for your viewing pleasure in a dark world. The Walking Dead debuts on AMC in the Fall.

The Social Network Trailer

Posted by ron On August - 1 - 2010
YouTube Preview Image

Let’s face it, the internet has replaced the stock market as the new means to make money without really doing anything. At first glance, the Social Network looks like your typical story about young intelligent kids too cool for school who succeed in a get rich quick scheme before they ruined their friendships and sense of trust in the process.

Director David Fincher (Fight Club) with screen writer Aaron Sorkin (West Wing) team up to adapt Ben Mezrich’s book about the founders of Facebook, the Accidental Billionaires. Facebook has changed the fabric of socializing and networking in America for better or for worse. Ever get sick of the girl who uploads a thousand pics of herself hugging someone or something? Ever wonder why people get torn up socializing with someone they never met in person? The exposure is undeniable but impersonal. Trying to meet people on facebook is about as exciting and fraudulent as interacting with an IKEA online catalog but it engages people by linking any two people on the planet. It’s also a huge waste of time.

Personally, I don’t have a facebook account. My life isn’t that exciting and who really wants to see pics of me as I grow older? It would be equivalent of the scene in the movie Seven where the drug abuser has his pic taken sequentially till he’s a malnourished corpse.

Regardless, I don’t think it’ll be a bad movie but utterly predictable because we all know where facebook is today. I think it’s impossible to condense how facebook has affected human interaction especially when it comes to dating. Checking a woman for an adam’s apple in a bar was hard enough, today I am trained to scrutinize every sentence every time an account claiming to be female commented on my favorite websites. I don’t like the internet as a means of socializing but I understand its value as a networking tool. There’s just no substitute for human companionship and intimacy but I know people who continue try.

That said, I am curious to see how Sorkin’s snarky dialogue leaves trails of smoke as these characters go from buddies to your typical bloodthirsty, power hungry adults. Jesse Eisenberg who commanded Holy Rollers and has shown promise since Roger Dodger, will have his ultimate chance to bring the hammer to a role. From The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Andrew Garfield has a chance to convince me that the studios weren’t out of their mind in picking him to be the new Spider-man.

The Social Network opens on October 1st.

-Ron

Girl who Played with Fire

Posted by ron On August - 1 - 2010


Lisbeth Salander is not your usual tourist or woman for that matter.

The Girl who Played with Fire is the second film in a trilogy based on a best seller. This film didn’t waste any time reintroducing the relationship between the main characters. However this film required understanding the unusual relationship between Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvst as it relates to the plot.

Once again Sweden’s answer to Nancy Drew was placed in grave danger after she overplayed her hand against the man who raped her in the previous film, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Having delivered substance over style, director Daniel Alfredson never let the story stray an inch from his talented leads. Yet, the two main characters never shared a scene unlike the film’s predecessor. The film’s pacing was important as the story was designed as an elaborate chase. First, Lisbeth chased after the murderer to clear her name. Blomkvst then chased after Lisbeth, while trying to stay one step ahead of the police. As the brilliant and troubled heroine became mired in the mystery, Lisbeth’s troubles suddenly had some disturbing coincidences and revelations.

Swedish filmmakers don’t believe in wordy dialogue. The actors never waste a word and will never speak 4 words when 3 will do. Much of this film’s emotional baggage was reserved in the subtle facial expressions and body language. Once again, Noomi Rapace delivered a commanding performance. As Lisbeth, she was both mysterious and emotionally complex. Like a ghost she visits her friends and lovers yet disappears without a trace or care in the world. In one scene, Lisbeth told her occasional lesbian partner that she did some traveling with a detached and somber delivery. Did she even have a good time? The answer was keyed into next scene. Dressed like a ridiculous tourist wearing a NY Yankee baseball cap and sweatshirt, she used her souvenirs to keep a low profile while searching for evidence that might clear her.

In Hollywood, there seems to be confusion over what is a strong female lead. Most of the roles today are derivatives of Buffy of the Vampire Slayer. Sexed up twenty something vixens who can kill anything 10 times the size and weight of their 80lb anorexic frame. This heroine was by no means a combat machine but skilled in using her brain to trick men into underestimating her. Not just Lisbeth but all the women in this film are far from helpless.

It was difficult to appraise this film because the plot was not even half as complex as its predecessor. Yet, a streamlined plot is not necessarily a bad thing. This film relied heavily on the lead actors’ natural charisma to carry the film. Dissecting the chemistry between the two leads was a critical component to what made the Girl with a Dragon Tattoo so special. Still, I firmly remain convinced the Girl who played with Fire was a solid companion piece. I am looking forward to the next mystery involving the mysterious Lisbeth Salander.

In my never ending homage to George Thorogood’s One bourbon, one scotch, one beer….I am giving the Girl who played with Fire smooth tasting shot of Maker’s Mark bourbon.

Cheers
Ron

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Posted by ron On August - 1 - 2010


Nicolas Cage takes Jay Baruchel to school in the Sorcerer’s Apprentice

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice was a fancy special effects package loosely based on the short Mickey Mouse animated classic in Fantasia. Mixing sorcery with a college romance might sound like a clever marketing endeavor except the marriage didn’t work. The sophomoric script resembled a doomed marriage between J.R.R. Tolkien and Nicholas Sparks.

Jay Baruchel played Dave, a smart kid and a lousy liar, who had a traumatic experience with the supernatural. Ten years after the incident, Dave still had a crush on his childhood friend Becky Barnes. If that’s not disturbing enough, sorcerer extraordinaire Balthazar Blake played by Nicolas Cage has been searching hundreds of years for a boy like Dave to be his apprentice. If Dave is the one, he will become the Prime Merlinian, a sorcerer charged with keeping the world safe. Unfortunately, this is the 21st century where young people aren’t stupid enough to take on more responsibility without some compensation so Dave walked. Despite Blake’s protest Dave refused to care about the world in peril. He’s too busy obsessing about his childhood crush. Thank goodness Dave had his priorities set.

Director John Turteltaub who brought you 3 Ninjas, Cool Runnings, and National Treasure has a light hearted positive approach to overcoming adversity in life. If he could have tempered the obstacles he had set up for the protagonists, the plot wouldn’t be overshadowed by plasma bolts, morphing effects, and other expensive CGI candy.

No Disney fairy tale can be complete without a love interest. As Becky Barnes Teresea Palmer was fated to be Dave’s dream girl. Too bad she didn’t have any material to work with. She believed anything Dave told her and never seemed to doubt him despite her life being constantly put in danger. I guess, Dave’s a keeper. One baffling scene had Ms. Barnes intervene on Dave’s behalf atop the Chrysler building. How did she know where to find him? More importantly how did two college kids get past security to reach that summit?

The villains are theatrical and having the most fun in the film. Alfred Molina delivered a performance with the panache of a classic Disney villain. From RocknRolla, Toby Kebbell’s character was a comical parody of The Mind Freak, Criss Angel. In this era of desperate sequels, one can only hope he gets his own movie. Unfortunately, not even two great villainous actors going along with the ride aren’t enough to offset this film’s short comings.

In my ode to George Thorogood’s One bourbon, one Scotch, one beer I give the Sorcerer’s Apprentice a lite beer with very little taste.

Cheers,
Ron

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Thoughts on Cinema is dedicated to film reviews. An uncompromising opinion on the intellectual, artistic, and entertainment value to the consumer. With rising ticket prices, we dedicate ourselves to present to you content regarding what you should or should not be viewing. -Ronald H. Pollock Founder and Editor in Chief

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